I need to head this up with this point of clarification – I am not pregnant, I have no intentions of being pregnant and this isn’t any form of announcement that I am pregnant. Got it? All clear?
That being said I was chatting to someone recently who is in the early stages of pregnancy and they were saying they knew they weren’t meant to tell anyone they were but they had told a couple of people already. That got me thinking back to those first few stressful months of pregnancy and how it felt to have this massive secret but be unable to tell anyone.
As it was we told immediate family at 9 weeks and a couple of our closest friends at 10 weeks as we needed help covering up my lack of drinking over the Christmas period which would have sent alarm signals out to most people who knew me!
I wasn’t really sure why I didn’t tell anyone else though and I know I felt guilty for telling the people we did because of the 12 week rule. I know the official reason is because of the risks in early pregnancy but looking back on it that seems like more of a reason to feel relaxed about telling immediate family and a handful of closest friends. These were the friends I quietly celebrated with and enjoyed sharing our precious little secret with but if something had gone wrong then these also would have been the people I would have wanted to lean on in such a hard time.
The other consideration is that those first few weeks are so overwhelming sometimes you just want to talk about your fears, your concerns and your hopes but you may feel guilty or worried about doing so before the 12 week mark is reached. You are full of crazy hormones, you might not be feeling well, you’ll certainly be feeling tired and you’ll likely just want a damn good cry so why shouldn’t you tell someone how you are feeling. Ease the pressure. Share the load.
It takes a village to raise children and that support network starts from the moment you see the lines on your test. You build your village from that very moment and that network should be there for you during the rough times and the smooth times.
So if you want to tell people then do – if you feel it’ll help you feel more supported and then just do it and to hell with tradition and reason. Parenting is complicated enough without making anything harder than it needs to be.
Once again – I am not pregnant. I just really like cake. Please don’t give me any knowing looks following this blog….it’ll just be embarrassing for both of us.