“When will you be having another?”
“You don’t want to leave it too long”
“Too long and the gap will be too big”
“Ahhhh – she’d love a sibling”
Anyone who has one child is probably overwhelmingly familiar with all of these sayings and lets out an internal sigh every time they hear any of them.
I’m so bored of justifying the ongoings of my internal organs to other people and mostly total strangers at that. I’m just so fed up with the assumptions we even want another child so I’m going to start answering honestly rather than politely.
So here it is.
I don’t know if we’ll have another baby because I don’t have a crystal ball and can’t see into the future. I don’t know if we could and even if we could I don’t know if we would.
I can’t even begin to explain how much I didn’t enjoy being pregnant. I had SPD from 18 weeks and was on crutches from 22 weeks, I had low fluid, the baby was breech and I was sick a minimum of 3 times a day until I was 30 weeks pregnant. I had heartburn, headaches, couldn’t sleep and my hair fell out in handfuls.
I didn’t glow. I’m still owed a glow.
If I’m honest I’m in no hurry to repeat that experience.
Then we were blessed with this amazing, funny, wilful and spirit filled little girl who doesn’t stop moving, has a mild speech delay and still doesn’t sleep through the night very often. We are so tired. We are incredibly happy and love our little family group but we are bloody tired.
We all fit in one car, we can live in a smaller house, all fit on one row when we fly and aren’t outnumbered by tiny humans v bigger humans.
For us this currently works – that’s not to say it’ll always be that way but I feel pretty comfortable in saying that this isn’t going to change anytime soon.
I just don’t understand why the amount of children people have is up for public debate? I’d never dream of questioning anyone about how many children they have so why would it seem ok for them to do that to me? That’s not even taking into account the hurt that is felt when people tell you it’s cruel to only have one child or ask you questions about your fertility you aren’t prepared to answer.
The trick is to just mind your own damn business – if you choose not to have any children, just one or two or a bigger family then that’s your own choice and no one has the right to question you on that. If you can afford it and you are happy with your choice then just do you and let everyone else keep out of your business.