Don’t ask me if I’m having more children

I mean it . Please stop asking.

I’m the very proud and happy mother to a nearly 3 year old whirlwind who each and every day makes me feel utter happiness and utter despair. Usually within 5 minutes of each other.

Emma is brilliant and she lights up my day and my life but make no mistake – this parenting lark is really hard.

I had a horrible pregnancy made up of awful sickness, SPD, crutches, low fluid and a breech baby who refused to turn. I then couldn’t feed her as I didn’t produce any milk at all after my section and even when she did start feeding she had horrible reflux. Oh and she is 3 years old in a few days and still doesn’t sleep very well or very often. And she doesn’t do anything she’s asked, has a speech delay and generally spends her day figuring out the best way to torture me or thats mostly how it seems.

It’s rewarding too though – full of laughter and fun and some days I honestly feel like I’m going to burst with all the love I feel for her. Spending time with her and getting to watch her grow, learn and play is brilliant and I’m so proud of her.

The idea of having a second is full of questions about how I’ll manage if I have a pregnancy like the last one – it means I won’t be able to run around after her, pick her up or play with her like I do now. It means it’ll be even longer until I can get back to work. It means reshuffling our entire lives again when I’m just starting to feel like I’ve got a grip on it. It means more financial commitments. It’ll mean I get less time with just Emma and I and I find that time so precious.

I feel like at times I’m surrounded by people trying to persuade me to have more children. They say how much she’d love a sibling and I agree. They say only children are lonely children and I don’t agree. They say I’m in my mid-30’s – that I’m running out of time to have another child and I really get grumpy at that one.

The point is that it’s not really a decision that has anything to do with anyone else. That decision will come down to my husband and I and what we decide to do.

So please stop asking me. If and when we decide to have a baby you’ll know when we choose to tell you and not a moment before.

Oh and if anyone brings up my age again you’ll get a swift clip around the ear. What happens in my internal organs is nothing to do with you but if you mention the age of those internal organs again I’ll get properly cross.

*rant over*

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