That moment where you wake up before the rest of the household. Everything is quiet. You manage to sneak in an early hot shower without your toddler watching you, your phone going off or hearing a single other voice. It’s bliss and you exit the shower feeling ready for the day.
You debate trying to creep downstairs and get a sneaky cup of tea, hot cross bun and even read a page or two of your book. But wait. Why is she still asleep? What if she’s not breathing while I’m revelling in silence. What if she isn’t well while I’m sat here smiling to myself.
Oh god, I’m a terrible parent. What kind of mother am I?
No wait. Calm down, she might just be super tired and had her first lie in ever. The only way to tell is to check on her. If she’s asleep and I check on her she will wake up. But what if she’s not and I don’t? There is no winning formula here.
I’m not checking on her you say while creeping towards her door. You pull the door handle down and as you do you hear a small snore from within and a tiny little cry.
You close the door slowly and run away as quickly as you can.
Please go back to sleep – you chant as you stand frozen in the hallway afraid your movement will wake her more. You can feel your cup of tea disappearing into the mist. That hot cross bun will be eaten but will be shared. You will read a book but it will rhyme and probably have a bear in it. The phone will start ringing and the to do list will beckon. And all because you touched her bedroom door handle and invited fate in.
She cries again. Properly this time.
But it’s ok because when you do go in she smiles and holds out her arms for a cuddle. She is still all warm and sleepy as she snuggles into your shoulder.
Good morning lovely you say. Shall we have a cuddle a read a book together – let’s try this one about bears shall we?
And so another day begins……..